You will never get her...
I had to find a cooler place.
It was too much this time. My dreams provoked me to wake up suddenly in the middle of the night and to shake the unwanted sentiment, to try to fall asleep anew but this time with a nicer thought. A smooth, gentle and tranquil dream that my mind and the whole organism needed. Still the pain was unbearable. I woke up long before the sunrise.
You're leaving me now...
The night was behind me.
Spasms of stomach woke me up. Again I was catching a breath like a fish taken from water. I couldn't sleep no longer. I was still thinking about the dream that woke me up. The thought that she might be with someone else drove me into a restless state, leaving me with only that thought. I couldn't make any move, I couldn't ask anyone for help, I couldn't meet with anyone. Check and mate.
Let me cry...
I was left in my room alone, fighting with my mind, fighting with my organism that contorted itself in the spasms of nausea, fighting not to puke. the organism reacted with nervousness. and nervousness brought nausea. Anxiety and worry dominated being driven by a recurrent thought.
I tried to harness my mind.
I looked outside the window. There was -25 degrees. Outside, it snowed. Snowflakes danced around the street-lamps, and only looking at the light I could see that it was snowing. The whirlwind of flakes had a calming effect. But then again...
Sometimes I wish I could cry...
And again the spasms of pain came with heavier attack this time. I was sweating and curled up in the corner of the room, beside the wall. My eyes covered tears, my stomach wanted to vomit but found nothing inside. I shivered and waited the killer-thought to pass by. I wanted to stop it but found it too strong, too overpowering for me to handle it. I was too weak, too weak to stand upon it and to dominate it.
I felt jealousy in its purest form.
I had to find a cooler place.
It was too much this time. My dreams provoked me to wake up suddenly in the middle of the night and to shake the unwanted sentiment, to try to fall asleep anew but this time with a nicer thought. A smooth, gentle and tranquil dream that my mind and the whole organism needed. Still the pain was unbearable. I woke up long before the sunrise.
You're leaving me now...
The night was behind me.
Spasms of stomach woke me up. Again I was catching a breath like a fish taken from water. I couldn't sleep no longer. I was still thinking about the dream that woke me up. The thought that she might be with someone else drove me into a restless state, leaving me with only that thought. I couldn't make any move, I couldn't ask anyone for help, I couldn't meet with anyone. Check and mate.
Let me cry...
I was left in my room alone, fighting with my mind, fighting with my organism that contorted itself in the spasms of nausea, fighting not to puke. the organism reacted with nervousness. and nervousness brought nausea. Anxiety and worry dominated being driven by a recurrent thought.
I tried to harness my mind.
I looked outside the window. There was -25 degrees. Outside, it snowed. Snowflakes danced around the street-lamps, and only looking at the light I could see that it was snowing. The whirlwind of flakes had a calming effect. But then again...
Sometimes I wish I could cry...
And again the spasms of pain came with heavier attack this time. I was sweating and curled up in the corner of the room, beside the wall. My eyes covered tears, my stomach wanted to vomit but found nothing inside. I shivered and waited the killer-thought to pass by. I wanted to stop it but found it too strong, too overpowering for me to handle it. I was too weak, too weak to stand upon it and to dominate it.
I felt jealousy in its purest form.
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